Me: A-Z

age - 28

bed size - King

chore you hate -  Emptying the dishwasher and doing laundry.  Its an even tie. 

dogs - Tried a few too many dogs before we figured out we are not a pet family. 

essential start to your day - I would like to say something healthy like working out or a yummy breakfast shake, but really my day starts as soon as I go to the bathroom...lol....really. 

favorite color - Pink

gold or silver - Silver

height - 5 feet 5 inches

instruments you play - Kazoo

job title - Stay at home mom

kids -Cadence and Nathan 

live - to the fullest!

married - 8 years in April

nicknames - Steph, My dad calls me Rebel, nieces and nephews refer to me as Mae Mae. 

overnight hospital stays - Just when I had both of my babies. 

pet peeve - Folding the towels the wrong way. 

righty or lefty - Righty

siblings - 5- Christen, Samantha, Cassandra, Richard Jr, Bonnie (Yes, they are all my biological sibs, not step or half, My parents were busy, lol.) 

time you wake up - Weekdays-7am Weekends-Between 8-10 (sometimes Leif lets me sleep in!) 

university attended - None- Kalamazoo Valley Comm and Glen Oaks Comm. 

vegetables you dislike - None that I can really think of....

what makes you run late - Myself.....I'm always running late. 

x-rays you've had - Shoulder, teeth

yummy food - Cheesecake

zoo animal favorite - Monkeys and Giraffes 

Hibernation here we come.....

So, This week has made it more and more obvious that hibernation mode is going to start soon for Cady and I. I love the fall season but I hate being cold!! I wish it would be nice and pretty but just a tad bit warmer....sweatshirt and jeans weather is what I like....please just a little warmer....pretty please! :-) This will be the first winter that I will spend not working. And I must admit I'm a little nervous about it. I'm very nervous about getting stir crazy and bored and not know what to do with myself. Will I fall into the depression that I have fought so hard to get under control? Will I get so mad at the little things that I will start taking it out on Cady? Will I be able to handle being stay at home mommy who actually stays home and not the one who tries to avoid it at all costs? Or will the opposite happen....Will I LOVE the fact that I don't have to trudge through multiple feet of snow everyday to see what inventory we have outside? Will I love being able to feel my fingers and not having to wear gloves even while I'm in the office? Will I love not having to drive for an hour for what was normally only a 30 minute drive to work because I have to go into work BEFORE the snow plows start plowing? Or....Will I forget about all of my worries when I wake up snuggled in bed under 2 comforters with my baby girl next to me all warm and cozy every morning?

I'm hoping for mine and Cady's and everyone else's sake that I am able to forget about all of the things that worry me about this up coming cold wintry season....for now I think I will just start loading up on all of the fun projects out there to keep Cady and I sane while we begin the Michigan Winter Hibernation Season!!

Please pray that we will survive! :-)

Its my life......I think...

So, for those of you who don't really know me or haven't really noticed, I am now a Stay at Home Mommy. This is a HUGE change for me because I went from working full time, some overtime, to not working at all! Practically overnight! I have been staying home with Cady since April 4th, 2009. I have to say I LOVE IT! I struggled in the beginning not really knowing how to stay home with her, how to clean, how to function without work but after 2 months I think we are getting into a really nice routine. Its amazing the world that is out there for stay at home moms! We have started doing some play dates with other children so that she can learn to interact with them and I have been able to spend LOTS of time with my mom and more time with Leifs mom! Its great! I feel better, I feel healthier, I am less stressed, less depressed and closer to my baby! Leif is happy because he comes home to dinner and a clean house and clean clothes. It seems to be the best thing for our family! So, why am I suddenly writing about this now after 2 months?? Well, I started thinking about what I'm going to do once my unemployment runs out....see I'm very blessed that I get to stay home with my daughter but still get paid unemployment from my last job.....So, with all of the changes in my life that have happened in the last 2 months that have made things better I just remembered that things aren't always going to be this great...What do I do when it all runs out??....Do I get another job? Do I try and go back to school? Do Leif and I sacrifice some of the things that we don't really need so that I can stay home?? Its funny, at the time I thought my biggest decision I would have to make in a long time was whether to stay at my job or leave.....now just 2 months later Ive got another one to make....and I cant decide......

For now, I will leave it up to God. He knows what he has planned for me, I just have to wait for him to tell me.....Hopefully he will let me in on his secret soon though!

Control.....

So, I'm officially in the middle of my 3rd week of being a Stay at Home Mom. I have to say, this is SOOOOO different from anything I have ever done!! I LOVE IT!! Not only have I gotten to spend so much time with Cady I have also spent a lot of time with my mom and some friends that I have missed! I have also been doing a lot of reading and meditating and learning more about my faith with Jesus. I have come to realize that I need to stop trying to control everything. I need to let Him take control and lead me in the path that he wants me to go in. I have been listening to a lot of music lately and this song by Francesca Battistelli has been like a theme song for me!! I'm officially letting go and giving him the reigns! Here are some of my favorite lyrics:

"I'm Letting Go"

(Chorus)
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

(Chorus)

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

I'm not afraid anymore, I have no idea where my life is headed. I have no idea what I will be doing in an hour, tomorrow, next week.....I have no plan whatsoever! And I feel better than ever!