About Me

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I am Steph! I am a 30-something mom and wife. I am Bi-Polar. I am an Autism mom. I work full time outside the home. I overcommit myself every single day. I sometimes wonder how my husband puts up with me on a day to day basis. I have 2 children, one neuro-typical and one not so neuro-typical. I am a hot mess. I am Steph.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Health and Fitness Friday: It's not you.....it's me....

Happy Health and Fitness Friday!  

I admit.....I have totally sucked at posting all summer!!  I feel like every week I have a great idea for a post on Friday but I don't actually remember to post until like Sunday.....So then I don't want to look like a loser so I don't post at all! HAH!!  
Well....here I am this week. I'm posting because I have a pretty big announcement....

I think it's time that we break up and go our separate ways.
Don't be sad, it's not you, it's me. 
We just make better friends than anything else. 
I need some space and time to clear my head and figure out what I want in life. 
You do you, I'm doing me.
It's been great getting to know you, but it's time we get to know other people. 
I'm not ready for a commitment. 
We can still be friends. 
We are just in totally different places in our lives. 

That's right folks.  Starting September 1st, I am officially breaking up with my scale for the whole month! 

Believe me when I tell you that this is probably one of the harder decisions I have made in a while!  You see, for the past year I have had a love hate relationship with that pesky little thing on the floor that spits out numbers that you either love or hate. 

It started out pretty innocent. Weighing myself, getting the number, beating myself up about it in my head and then going about my week. Then I started noticing that instead of seeing each other once a week it turned into every couple of days, then once a day, and for the past month I have found myself stepping on that thing 2, 3 sometimes 4 times a day!!  And it makes me mad.  I'm mad because I know that we fluctuate in weight on sometimes an hourly basis! I'm mad because for the last month it hasn't moved much unless it was going up! I'm mad because I know that I am addicted to the scale and I truly think its stupid yet I can't NOT step on that thing every time I walk by it! I'm mad because I try to justify that because I still have so much weight to loose that the numbers do matter and its not just about the inches I lose. 

So, I've decided it's time to be done. 
I need a break, I need to stop obsessing over what number I am. 
I need to take my life back. 
I need to focus my time that I gave to the scale everyday on more important things....like maybe doing the dishes while I'm in the kitchen instead of weighing myself....I'm still not sure why the scale is even in the kitchen....

Not gonna lie, this will probably be a huge struggle for me because I know that I have been programmed to think that the scale is the most important thing in my weight loss journey. But I have to teach myself that that is simply untrue. Yes, going down in weight is what I am supposed to be doing, but I really need to remind myself that what really matters is that I am getting myself healthy and fit for me and my family. And one of the biggest notices I have felt through the month is that I am still going down in inches even if the scale isn't moving like it is supposed to.  I tried on a pair of pants last week that I never could have fit a month ago let alone a year ago. So obviously something is happening. 

Ok, Enough about the scale today....typing it makes me want to go jump on it right now and see what it says...but I'm not going to.....hopefully....

I will leave you with these to help dictate what I will be saying to my scale in 9 days.

Until next time....

Sunday, August 4, 2013

August 4th. One Year.

August 4th, 2012.

The day I flushed my fear down the toilet and put myself out there!

This is the day I said, "Screw it! I need accountability and I am going to do this!"  So, I did it.
I put my "Before" pics on Facebook and left it at that.  Who knew that this would open up a whole new world for me!?
Who knew that I would start to think of myself as someone other than the fat girl!
Who knew that I would actually inspire people.
I am not an inspiration!?
I am just the fat girl who wants to be less fat!
I am not a expert, I make mistakes.....but apparently I am also inspiring others to start their journey!
Im not gonna lie, it is still weird for me when someone tells me that my journey pushed them to start, I still don't know how to react and am kind of awkward when I am supposed to respond. But I am changing and I feel like God put me here to share my experience so if that is what I am called to do, then that is what I will do!

August 4th, 2013.


Today I am down 45lbs.
Today I am a runner.
Today I am a bike rider.
Today I am changing.
Today I am down 2-3 clothing sizes. 
Today I can run/walk/jog 3-4 miles.
Today I can bike ride 11 miles.
Today I am aware of what I put into my body and how many calories it is.
Today I think about how many calories I will burn during a work out instead of how many swiss cake rolls I can shove in my mouth.
Today I have hit my 1 year Weight Loss Journey Anniversary.
Today I am still a work in progress, but I am progressing and that is all that matters.

I am by no means where I want to be, but I can now with full confidence say that I will get there.  It may take me another year, it may take me two. But I will get there!  I could fill this post up with so many reflections, but it would probably take me another year to finish, so I know that you are all waiting for one thing.

My progress picture. :-)

Until Next Time....