About Me

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I am Steph! I am a 30-something mom and wife. I am Bi-Polar. I am an Autism mom. I work full time outside the home. I overcommit myself every single day. I sometimes wonder how my husband puts up with me on a day to day basis. I have 2 children, one neuro-typical and one not so neuro-typical. I am a hot mess. I am Steph.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Fitness Friday: 30 Day Shred

An AWESOME Bloggy Friend (Jen) of mine has started a Friday Blog post called Fitness Friday and I have been meaning to link up to her since she started and it seems like I either forget or can't think of anything to blog about!  SO, I'm so happy that I finally remembered before Saturday!  

If you have been tagging along with me along the last few months than you know that I have been on a weight loss/get fit and healthy journey so I'm going to use this post to update everyone on my progress.  I started working out consistently towards the end of July but I took my official "Before" picture in August and I'm using that to help document my body transformation because the scale hasn't been so nice to me lately!  

Here is the latest picture:

Can you see the difference??  The biggest change I can see is my "lower roll" has significantly shrunk.  If you don't know what part of the body that is I'll explain it a bit, lol.  If you look at my stomach, I have an "upper roll", a "tire" in the middle and a "lower roll"...sure the names aren't correct...but I have to have some sort of comic relief right!?

So.....I kind of fell off the C25K wagon (SUPER BUMMED) this month because I developed shin splints so I have been trying to nurse them because I REALLY miss running!  It's so weird to hear myself say that.  I mean, I'm still over 100lbs overweight but in the short time I have been working out I have accomplished things I never imagined that I could do!  And running was top on my list of things I couldn't do.  But I seem to be proving that list wrong everyday!

Because I couldn't run well at the moment, my sister and I started Jillian Micheal's 30 Day Shred.  

I would be lying if I told you it was easy!!  She kicks my B-U-T-T!!  We finished Day 10 (Level 1) on Wednesday and started Day 11 (Level 2) yesterday....All I can say is Holy workout! My results haven't been the greatest yet but I just keep telling myself that we aren't even half way done yet so hopefully I see some soon!  It would be nice if I could be one of them that loses up to 20lbs like she says on her DVD but at this point, I'm just happy with losing some inches!  So far I have lost 2lbs (I was at a 6lb loss but a few of those came back so I'm officially at a 2lb loss and a 1/2 inch on my hips.  

I'm excited to link to the other posts and see all the great things we are doing this week!  Come back soon, I will be updating along the way and I hope to soon introduce you to a smaller, healthier Steph! :-)

Until Next Time....

Monday, September 17, 2012

I'm just......here.......

I'm exhausted today....physically and emotionally...I'm not sure if I ever remember crying as much as I did today, I just couldn't stop it.  I couldn't control my breathing and calm myself down, it just wouldn't stop.  Kinda wishing I was somewhere nice and tropical and quiet right now.  Somewhere that I can just get away from it all for a bit.  Its just overwhelming and I'm not sure that I can hold it all together much longer.  I feel like I am working so hard to be a good role model and its just not working.  People close to me just seem to not care about anyone else but themselves and they keep making one bad decision after another.  What they don't realize is that it doesn't just affect them, it affects everyone around them and I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one that is concerned about certain situations.  I'm tired of being called the bitch because I speak my mind and try to guide them in the right direction.  I'm tired of being tired.  I just don't understand it anymore, sometimes I wish I wasn't the oldest sibling so I didn't feel pressured to be the responsible one.  Why can't I do stupid things, be disrespectful and irresponsible and cause others pain?  Why can't I be involved in illegal activities and just think that I am invincible and that nothing is going to happen to me because I'm smarter than everyone and think that I know everything??  Why can't I just forget about my responsibilities and have everything handed to me and not actually have to work for anything?  Why?  Because I know better.  I have morals and beliefs and I'm entitled to my own opinion and you better believe that if you mess with them I will turn into the "Crazy Bitch" that you think that I am.  I used to think that you just made some mistakes in life because you were young and that you would learn from them but now I know that you will never learn.  You will never change.  You will never care about anyone but yourself and you will never care about who you hurt along the way.

I can honestly say that I'm just done.  I can't deal with it anymore.  I can't let my own family suffer because of stupid people.  But I also can't just sit back and watch all of this crap happen around me....What am I supposed to do!?!  Just shut my mouth and forget about it?  If something serious were to happen how will I be able to live with myself knowing that I knew what was going on but just shut my mouth?  How can anyone be ok with that?  How do people do it?  

I guess what I just need to do tonight is go to bed and start new tomorrow....but you better believe that I will not forget about this and I will not stop fighting for what is right. 

Until Next Time....