About Me

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I am Steph! I am a 30-something mom and wife. I am Bi-Polar. I am an Autism mom. I work full time outside the home. I overcommit myself every single day. I sometimes wonder how my husband puts up with me on a day to day basis. I have 2 children, one neuro-typical and one not so neuro-typical. I am a hot mess. I am Steph.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Im on the verge.....

Of a nervous breakdown......Seriously, please tell me that I am not the only one who is experiencing or has experienced the worst case of terrible twos/almost threes in the world!!!???!?!?! This is just cruel and unusual punishment, especially for a preggo momma! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely with all my heart love my daughter and would do anything in the world for her but I find myself getting really really mad and almost resenting her at times and that kills me.  (side note: I do suffer from Depression and Anxiety Disorder if you haven't read through my blog)  I don't want to be mad at her, I don't want to punish her, I don't want to yell at her but nothing seems to be helping!  I just want her to listen to me and be that sweet little girl that I know she can be!  I have basically tried everything I can think of and she just continues to not listen and have these HORRIBLE tantrums and fits anywhere and everywhere!  Currently I am the mom with the screaming child that you can hear on the other side of the store!  Which is why I have been MIA at the store lately!  I have been having small anxiety attacks lately and I know they are due to her behavior and the stress that it is causing me.  I just cry and cry and cry....I cant even control that anymore......I'm honestly starting to question my ability to raise two children.  What have I gotten myself into?  Why would I think I can handle this? When will she calm down?  How soon can I start my meds after the baby is born..... :-) lol (I know those will help out tremendously!)

I'm just gonna ask that you all say a little prayer for me that I survive this.  Hopefully once I have the baby and my hormones aren't all whacked out and I can start my meds again I will be able to handle her a little better...... if not I'm sure you will hear me cry about it some more...That's what a blog is for isn't it??  :-)  Maybe I will get lucky and she will grow out of it by the time she is three, even though everyone I have talked to has said that three is worse then two....if that's the case then I'm doomed! 

Until later.......6 weeks until my due date, hopefully Nathan arrives sooner!


  1. Oh girl. i could have written this post today. It was a rough one over here. You are not alone. I threw the biggest mommy fit today. Ugh just couldn't take it.

  2. You are not alone! My two year old turns three in October, and he is on the verge of being duct taped to the wall! Okay, maybe not really, but you get my point. It's like one day he woke up and learned the word no and how to throw a temper-fit!

    Just remember to be consistent with her - it will work eventually!

    Saying a prayer. : )

  3. Oh boy, I know what you mean. And to top it off, my sweet little angel of a 2 year old (laughing as I write that) had her shots today. It's exhausting.
    Not sure that I'm encouraging you, here. Maybe, I just stop and say a prayer for us both!

  4. YOU can do it! God gave you this little blessing, and that is what she is. He would not give you more than you can handle. (2 Corinthians 10:13) Take a deep breath and ask the Lord to help you lean on Him. Praying for you.

  5. Thank You so much Ladies! Its good to know that I'm not alone in this! :-)