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I am Steph! I am a 30-something mom and wife. I am Bi-Polar. I am an Autism mom. I work full time outside the home. I overcommit myself every single day. I sometimes wonder how my husband puts up with me on a day to day basis. I have 2 children, one neuro-typical and one not so neuro-typical. I am a hot mess. I am Steph.

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Im in a funk.....

Ive been in kind of a funk lately...I cant think of anything to blog about, I cant get myself up to clean the house, I cant get myself excited to go places, I cant get myself to do any crafting....Pretty much all I want to do is sit in my blue chair with my matching blue footstool.  Normally you would see me with my laptop on my lap with the TV playing in the background where I am listening but not really watching it, but lately I haven't even wanted to do that.  I haven't been interested in anything online, Facebook seems boring to me....which is odd because if you know me you know I LOVE Facebook.  I started crocheting a scarf for my mom on Monday and haven't touched it since, I just cant get any motivation to do anything!  I don't really want to talk to anyone, hang out with anyone or go anywhere.  With the exception of Cady.  Since I have a history of Depression my mind automatically goes to "OH NO!  Am I going in that direction again!?!?"  But then the other part of me just accepts the fact that I am just in a funk....I get in these moods at times, there really isn't anything I can do to change them, just mask them when I'm around people, pretend that I'm excited and in a good mood....Is that really healthy?  Does that really help?  Will I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?  Do I need to go back to the Dr's and up my medication dose or change my medication?  There are so many questions rolling through my mind.  

Unforunatley, I cant find the motivation right now to get the answers for them. 

1 comment:

  1. Hope you get out of that Funk...I go into those every once in a while. Just happens. I loved your pregnant news. That is so awesome.