Torn.....

I've been thinking a lot about this situation and I'm officially torn.....I don't know what to do.  Do I leave?  Do I stay?  Do I improve the situation on my own?  Do I enlist in someones help to improve the situation?  I just don't know....

So, I've been attending my church for over 6 years now.  I Love it.  I love the people that go there.  I love the Pastor and his wife.  And I love work that we do in our community.  The problem I am struggling with is I think I need more.  I'm feeling like I'm not getting enough out of my church experience every week.  I feel like I have become one of those people that just goes to church on Sunday and forgets about it until the next week and I don't like it. 

Here's a little background on my church:  My church is a VERY small Methodist church in Three Rivers.  The congregation averages between 20-30 people every Sunday.  The average age of the congregants is 60+.  Besides the exception of a 10 year old here and there I am the youngest person that attends my church regularly.  From there the age gap jumps into the 40's and up.  So, I'm pretty much the only one....  I am very involved in the running of my church.  I sit on the Ad Board, Staff Pastor Parish Relations Committee, Leadership Development Committee, Worship Team, Chairperson of the Missions Committee, I'm a Certified Lay Speaker and I run the bulletins every week.  I also help with the fundraisers held throughout the year and even put on a very successful Mom 2 Mom Sale this past May.  Other than Adult Sunday School and Sunday Worship Service we don't hold any other programs.  We don't have a Youth Group.  We don't have a Children's Sunday School.  Nothing.

I feel like I'm supposed to be getting more out of my church experience then just working behind the scenes with a bunch of people who don't necessarily agree with my ideas or some of the changes I would like to make.  I want to be involved in worshiping with  people my own age, whom I have something in common with.  I want my kids to be able to come to church on Sunday when they are older and LOVE coming to church and learn something and build a relationship with God.  But I don't know if I can do that here. 

I don't know what to do.....I don't want to leave.....but I'm not sure if staying is going to be the best choice for me and my family.....I know leaving would hurt the congregation and I don't want to do that but is it the best thing for all of us?  Is it fair to them for me to come every week and just go through the motions and not really get anything out of the sermon?  Is it fair to them for me to not be a good example because I don't have anything helping me grow?  Or am I just being selfish and thinking about myself too much? 

I'm hoping this is something that God will help me get through and lead me in the right direction....I just hope its soon because I don't like feeling like this.  I'm hungry and I need to be fed....am I being fed the right stuff right now or is there something more 'me' appropriate somewhere else.....  Ugh...I don't know....I'll always take your opinions.... :-)


Until Next Time.....

8 Weeks Ago.....

I looked like this....

 And now I look like this!

I can't believe my little man is 8 weeks old today! 

Time sure flies when you are having fun! 

And I'm loving EVERY minute of it!

Life Happens....

I know I have been missing from the blogging world lately....I honestly can't really think of much to blog about.  I've been so busy yet I don't have much to say! *Sorry!*  So I guess I will just give everyone an update!

I am 7 weeks into being a mommy of two!  I LOVE it!!  I feel as if Nate (or Monkey as my mom calls him) has been here forever!  Everyday he amazes me with something new that he has learned to do!  I do have to admit that he is growing WAY too fast for me!  He apparently received a memo to grow like a weed but I must have missed it!  He is now officially out of Newborn pants.  They are about an inch and a half too short!  And we have seemed to bypass most 0-3 months pjs and went straight to 3 months!  I can't believe it!  He is such a skinny little thing but is SO long!  He brings so much joy into all of our lives!

Miss Cady is doing SO well as a big sister!  She loves her 'Bubba' So much!  She even gave him that nickname! LOL  She started back into Gymnastics shortly before Nathan was born so that consumes every Friday Night.  But other than that she is just the same little spitfire she always has been!  I laugh a million times a day at the things she comes up with!  She is so funny!  Her latest thing is she wants to know when Friderday is.  I asked her if she was talking about Friday or Saturday but she insists that she is talking about Friderday!  So, I've been told that I need to find a calendar with that day on it so I can show her when it it .....hmm....either I'm going to make one or I'm going to have to explain to a 3 year old that there is no such day! :-) I can hear her now telling me that there really is a day called that and that I am wrong....Oh the joys of having a 3 year old little girl who thinks she is ALWAYS right! :-)

As for me...well, I am So proud of myself for adjusting so well to becoming a mommy of two!  Technically during the day I am a mommy to three because my niece Miss Emma Paige spends the day with us while her mom and dad are at work, So I guess you can say I am already training myself to become a mommy of three someday!  I am getting a little ahead of myself in saying three, but I figure if I'm doing so well with two why not add another one to the mix! LOL.  I did recently start a new venture in my life though.  I became an Avon Representative!  I was getting a little bored in the evenings, I know, It's hard to believe a mom can get bored!  And I love Avon products so I decided to go ahead and start selling it!  So, on top of my mommy and wife duties I now have hairbow making duties (CadyMayDesigns) and Avon duties!  Call me crazy, but I'm at a point in my life right now where I am so happy!

(Just a little plug: If you are looking for an Avon Representative check out my website! http://www.youravon.com/shightree  You can order from anywhere in the US on my website and have it shipped directly to you!)

There really is no update on Leif...lol...he is just the same wonderful husband and daddy!  His health is getting increasingly better!  I am worried about his now because the weather is getting colder and once you get pneumonia your body is never really the same again, but so far so good!  Pray for us throughout the cold Michigan weather that we can keep him healthy!  He is working a lot, but I am great full everyday that he has a job to support us!

Oh yeah, one last thing, I'm starting to read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Has anyone read this before?  I'd like to know your thoughts on it.  I'm not real sure when I will find time to read it, but it's a book I've been wanting to read for a while so I finally bought it tonight!

Well, I hear the baby calling me for a late night snack!

Until next time......